“It’s my life, it’s now or never, I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive” – It’s my life (Bon Jovi)
Just like in the Bon Jovi song, I can’t wait no more to live my life. Evaluating my life, all I see is a girl who is just barely surviving – take note, surviving. Not living. Surviving in a sense that I just go with the flow. Do what is in front of me. Contented with everyday things. I feel like a zombie. A drifter. Speaking in an Alice in Wonderland lingo, I lost my “muchness”.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde
Lack of inspiration? maybe. Fear of change? possible. Complacency? More likely. It’s like I’m stuck in this void and is contented in the monotony of my life. The everyday pattern. Truth is, I HATE IT. I just don’t know what to do about it.
“Movement is life” – World War Z
As time goes by, I lost the things that kept me going throughout the years. My active life – playing sports. Taekwondo, Tennis, Badminton, Table Tennis even Running. I miss the outdoors. Seeing greenery. Communing with nature. I miss dancing. Been stuck in my sedentary lifestyle and the four corners of my office cubicle.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein
I miss taking pictures. My Nikon D3100 needs exercise. Photography skills is getting rusty. I miss the excitement in my eyes whenever something new is supposed to happen. I miss the adrenaline rush of facing the unknown and trusting your instincts to get you by. I guess that is what happens when you work an 8-5(figuratively. Nowhere near my work hours). You sit all day, stare at the screen, analyze programs, trace logic, perform solutions, do fixes and other tasks requiring minimum physical effort except the clicking of keys in your keyboard.
The only thing that gets me by nowadays is my music. I almost lost this too for a quite a time. Glad I rediscovered it again little by little.
Starting today, I will live my life to the fullest! This much I can promise myself. The only restraint I have is my limit to myself. Time to up it up a notch or two. Of course I still have to set my boundaries. The things I would not ever compromise. Boundaries of what is socially acceptable and what is morally right. You have every right to enjoy life but you also have to be responsible enough for your actions because everything affects your future. You don’t want to jinx it because of just one silly mistake. I will also be more proactive in accomplishing my 30 before 30 list. Been a little lax lately. I will take hold of my life. I will keep the passion for life and living burning inside of me. Time to stop being a drifter and get my groove back. After all, You Only Live Once (#YOLO).
I can’t wait no more to live my life to the fullest!! 😉
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